Listening, Loving, and Learning through Life’s Everyday Breakdowns

I recently had a mid-day meltdown.  It doesn’t really matter what prompted it, because a dozen things prompted it.  Years of feelings prompted it. Two years of sleep deprivation probably helped it along.  A busted water line in the basement during the previous week just set me off ruminating on some ongoing issues and then pouring out like the water had, I text messaged my husband something like this:

“I’m tired of, tired of…tired of…, sick of…, midlife crisis…blah, blah…., I know there are people dying in civil wars…but I feel….sad story, poor me…who am I…, when will things stop changing…, worry, worry, tragedy…oh, woe is me.”  DUMP.

My poor husband calls, “Do you need me to come home?”  Sob.  Sob.  I haven’t let loose these kind of tears in a long time.

Interjected in between sobs, he managed to extract some of my woes from me and talk me into a temporary state of functioning.

Then he promised to come home after work instead of taking his weekly night off at the game store (we each take a few hours, one evening a week for “me time”).  My daughter continued napping on my lap (where she had miraculously slept through my cry-fest), and when she woke, we ventured outside for some fresh air.  Breezes and warmth blew over my face, instantly moving me into deeper breath.  We kicked a ball around, drew some pictures on the sidewalk, kid stuff.

My husband pulled in the driveway, armed with an apple pie (my favorite), fire and ice roses (our flower), and a warm hug.  He cooked dinner while I finished playing with V.  He let me spend some mindless time arranging his Hidden Chronicles estate on Facebook without begrudging me.  We chatted before going to sleep, holding hands, and I felt my state of being shift.

Because whatever happens in my life, major or minor, and however I stumble or break or cry or fumble,  I have the love of my husband and my daughter.  I have the everyday joys, the comfort of familiar arms, the sweetness of my daughter’s face and kisses.  I am infinitely fortunate.

I was reminded to never underestimate the power of small gestures of love and of listening with acceptance.  And why I married my husband:  because his hand fits just right around my own.

Linking up with Shell at Things I Can’t Say for her two year celebration of  

11 responses to “Listening, Loving, and Learning through Life’s Everyday Breakdowns

  • MEL

    It ain’t no thing. 🙂

  • canadianmommytime

    Stirred me to tears. I am so happy that your partner in life knew just what you needed. I am so happy that you recognized every sweet gesture and appreciated your blessings. Oh, so beautiful!

  • kittyb78

    I just love how close married people can be. The relationship goes much deeper when both people truly are in tuned with each others needs.

  • Kate F. (@katefineske)

    Oh I SO relate to this post. Did you ever read my post: Turning a Breakdown into a Breakthrough? It was really my husband who got me through that breakthrough. And I say thanks everyday that I have him around to help me through those sour times… Marriage – a good marriage – is SUCH a blessing.

    • Pamela

      Hi Kate! I didn’t, but I will look for it and read. It really is; having a friend who accepts and loves you and helps you through struggle is a rare and amazing gift. Thanks for reading and sharing:)

  • Shell

    Having family there for you really helps! I have little meltdowns like this, too. Usually, I just need to vent and then I feel so much better!

    • Pamela

      It does for sure! Life can weigh on you, but love sure lifts burdens and pain, doesn’t it? Thanks for stopping to read and comment, especially with your long list today.

  • bkr12

    You are not alone. I don’t have kids but I too have had the occasional meltdown. I had one at work recently, which was a first for me. And why? Because I got switched from a pc to a Mac and I just couldn’t cope with the learning curve. It was just too much to learn when I was too busy, with too much to do and a tetchy demanding boss. I called my husband and got him to collect me and I promptly burst into tears in his arms. I am a grown woman – what the hell is the matter with me! He took me home, brought me tea and biscuits and within an hour I was feeling a lot better. It lovely to have people who care, who can pick us up.

    • Pamela

      It sure is; thanks for reading and for sharing your own story; everyone has their days. And I’m not a Mac fan; I just haven’t had enough experience using them to be as comfortable as I am with a PC!

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