Expect to Not Know “What To Expect When You’re Expecting”

Our little pumpkin

Back when my husband M and I were expecting, we wrote up a “baby contract.”  The contract was akin to premarital counseling efforts, in which a couple attempts to discuss potential parenting issues and come to some sort of advance understanding about topics of concern.  M and I had waited a long time (approximately 8 years) to grow our family. We had grown accustomed to some of our habits and routines, and were trying to prepare ourselves for the many changes that come along with a new baby.

Our contract addressed many topics, among them: holidays, religion, discipline, division of labor, and alone/couple time.  Part of the agreement stipulated that M and I would try to sustain our mental and emotional well-being by taking time for ourselves with regularly scheduled alone time.  We started this practice sometime within the first year of V’s infancy, after I started really feeling the demands of postpartum life.  It was tricky to manage at first, as I was nursing on demand and V would not take a bottle, even of expressed breast milk, but it was important enough that we made it happen, at first intermittently, then more regularly as she grew older.  At age 2.5, we have managed to sustain the following practice for around a year and a half:  both M and I take one weeknight off a week.  It is only for a few hours, and we are almost always both home for V’s bedtime (with a very few exceptions), but this weekly time has been a haven of sorts.  We each can look forward to a time where we are guaranteed the space to do whatever we choose to restore our spirit and energy.

A week past my due date…not what I was expecting!

I have often allotted my weekly night off for writing time; it is one of the few times I have just the right combination of mental focus and uninterrupted time to compose my blog entries, newspaper articles, and other writing projects.  However, spending every waking free moment on writing began to make it feel like a job for me, so I have recently begun to shake things up by spending time on other neglected hobbies and interests in lieu of writing.

This week, I decided to take myself to a movie at the local cheap theatre.  I haven’t been to a movie by myself since 2007, and it is something I really enjoy doing.  I’m not sure exactly why, but it makes me feel connected to some part of myself to attend a movie independently.  It is time I get to spend choosing what I want, doing something I enjoy, and relying on myself to keep myself good company.

Alternating between Dark Shadows (I used to watch the series with my mom and sister as a kid) and What to Expect While You’re Expecting, I decided to go with the “chick flick,” something I knew M has about zero interest to see.  Settling into a 5:10 show, the lone person in the theatre, with my dollar bag of popcorn and a soda, I felt a great sense of relaxation and satisfaction with my choice for the evening.

The movie, as expected, was no great work of art.  I got pretty much what I was looking for out of the evening: mindless entertainment.  But I did have a few reflections about it that I thought I’d share for those considering a viewing. Please acknowledge the SPOILER ALERT here!

Greeting little V for the first time!

What To Expect While You’re Expecting couldn’t decide whether it wanted to be a drama or a comedy and as a result, did not fully achieve either.  Parts of the drama succeeded:  Wendy’s (Elizabeth Banks) dashed expectations of having “pregnancy glow” as she experiences the many physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy; the experience of miscarriage and its toll on an unstable, fledgling relationship; the potential risks of delivery; some of the feelings associated with fertility struggles.  Though I do not have a personal understanding of the experience of adoption; aspects of some of the insensitivity and lack of social support and understanding that adoptive parents could potentially face seemed to resonate as honest depictions.

The comedy however, stopped just short of abysmal.  In contrast to some of the dramatic moments of the movie, the comedic moments seemed forced, clichéd, and unnatural.  For example, the dads’ group, which had appeared in the trailer, was another example of the “doofus dads” phenomenon, as my husband has aptly named this stereotypical depiction of fathers in the media.  Though there were few moments of the dads “screwing up” in their fatherly roles, their attitudes were largely portrayed as wistful, nostalgic yearnings for their long abandoned, pre-kid, manhood.  I found this to be particularly repugnant, as both my husband, and other involved dads I know, do not walk around spending their energies pining after a pre-kid persona.  Nor is their manhood somehow reduced by their role as parents. In fact, the stay-at-home dads in our playgroup pretty much express the same experiences as stay-at-home moms, only without some of the social support systems inherent to motherhood.  Dads are dealing with the same discipline issues, balance, sleep and feeding concerns, and philosophical questions about how to raise caring, thoughtful children.  They aren’t slinging beer cans from the backseat of the mini-van or functioning in the half-aware state shown by Vic (Chris Rock) towards his toddler aged son.  Though not a father, these portrayals irritated me.

A beautiful moment of NOT “a doofus dad” and his newborn daughter…

The ridiculous go-cart race between Ramsey (Dennis Quaid) and his son was another example of over-the-top, as was the scene where Vic’s son gets beamed with a beer can and tumbles down a set of concrete stairs completely unscathed.  And sneezing out a child? I can’t imagine any mother, even those with relatively uncomplicated labors, who have had that kind of delightfully easy experience.  Overall, the humor was slapstick that fell flat and contrasted too strongly with the emotional intensity of many of the other scenes.  More subtle and less stereotypical attempts may have made the film hold together a bit better.

Still, as my expectations were not fixed or high, I was entertained, and found moments that I could identify with in many of the characters’ experiences.  And I think many parents can relate to the transcending message of the film, that you can’t ever fully anticipate the experience of pregnancy and parenthood until you are living through them.

First family photo

While our “kid contract” helped M and I start discussions and have a tentative plan for dealing with some hot button parenting issues, we could never have imagined the joys, the challenges, and most of all, the love that accompanies the arrival of a child and parenthood in general.  The most we can all do, after all, is to make the best choices for our children as we go, to seek out the support of friends and family to help us over the rough patches, and to love our little ones with all our hearts.  Parenting will always challenge our expectations, and it’s up to us to adapt and open ourselves up to the reality that no movie, however intense or humorous can adequately capture.

Mama and V holding hands; they were SO tiny! I love baby hands!

Author’s Note:  Hilariously, I was joined in the theatre right at the end of the movie, smack during the series of labor scenes, by a small, approximately eight year old boy.  After several minutes had passed, with no parent yet in sight, I asked him if he was sure he was in the right spot.  He didn’t answer.  I feared he might be in shock. As the credits rolled, his mother walked in with refreshments for the next viewing of What to Expect.  I can’t imagine taking my elementary aged son or daughter to see this movie, but I’m sure it was enlightening for him!

To Market, To Market….Playing “Shop N’Go”

My daughter V has recently begun to play a game she calls “Grocery Store”or “Shop N’Go” (which I think, incidentally was the brand name of her play shopping cart).   Any parent of a toddler knows that grocery shopping with said toddler can be a challenging experience.  Role playing grocery shopping experiences can help a little one become familiar with the routines and expectations of a shopping trip in a fun manner.  There are many wonderful learning opportunities that arise during play shopping and I hope to share some of them with you through this post.

To play grocery store, V and I take turns being the cashier/shopkeeper and the shopper.

The shopkeeper/cashier sets out play fruits, vegetables, meats, and dairy items.

This is a great opportunity to have your little one sort the items by food group or color.  If you have more than one of an item, you can play counting games by asking your child how many of each item they are putting in your play store.

The shopper (as we play it) takes a mini shopping cart and visits the store, selecting items for the basket.  As the shopper, I like to talk about what I am buying, and sometimes talk about why I am “buying” a certain item (ex:  “I want to make a pie; oh, look, there are some apples for my pie!”).  The shopper proceeds to the cash register (we use V’s baby piano) and sets the items on the counter.  (Here again is another opportunity for sorting or counting items.)

We have a little fake scanner (the faucet from V’s play kitchen) that we use to scan each item.  V loves to make a scanning sound “BOOP!”  when each item is “scanned.”  As a shopkeeper, V then puts the items in a reusable bag for the customer.

The shopper then takes out a play wallet(I bought a brand new wallet for a dollar at the Goodwill to use during play).  We have play money (coins and bills) and also old fake credit cards (old, used gift cards and fake credit cards that come with offers) that we use to pay.  V likes to slide the credit card through our credit card reader (the space between the piano keys) and hand it back to me.  We also use this as an opportunity to learn about money.  I show V the different types of coins and that five pennies is the same as one nickel.  We talk about which coins are worth more money and that the bigger coins aren’t always the ones worth the most money.  I don’t expect her to grasp all of these concepts at two, but she is learning the names of the coins and will gradually add knowledge through our continued play.

We also practice courtesy by saying, “Thank you!  Have a nice day!”  when we part company at the register.

Recently, V and I had an awful shopping experience when our wills collided down aisle 5.  After the dust had settled from our trip, we role played a similar experience with her baby dolls who just didn’t want to listen in our play grocery store.  I pretended that the baby wouldn’t get in her cart, was running in different directions, climbing out of the cart, and grabbing things she shouldn’t.  I asked V what she thought we should do in each of the situations.  She problem solved, “Put the baby in the cart;” “Give the baby a snack;”  “Strap her in.”  All of these ideas were great solutions and I could tell it got her wheels turning as she thought about what to do with unruly Baby.  When I asked her what we should do when Baby wouldn’t listen to our choices, I said, “I’m so frustrated!  I can’t get Baby to listen!  What should we do with Baby?”  V looked at me with an understanding grin.  Our next shopping experience was a bit more peaceful, but I know the learning will be part of an ongoing process.  Involving her in solution finding for challenging behavior gave her an opportunity to experience the situation from my perspective.

We try to carry over V’s learning to real life store experiences, allowing her to help us put items in the basket, scan our card at the register, and take the receipt.  She loves to select produce and always reminds me to buy eggs.  Recently, I recited a list of items we needed to remember to buy at the grocery store and she felt really proud to remind Mommy that we needed to purchase pens and Kleenex!  And I had one less thing to remember by myself!

For supplemental learning, try reading the following titles with your child:

At The Supermarket by Anne Rockwell (This sweet title was read over and over by my little gal who loved the story line of the mom and son buying ingredients for a birthday cake that they make at the end of the book.)

A Day at the Market by Sara Anderson (This one is a little quirky, including names of people that are specific to a particular farmer’s market, dumpster divers, and exotic ingredients but it is still a helpful read for kids and captures the excitement that a child might feel at a large marketplace.)

Maisy Goes Shopping by Lucy Cousins (Who doesn’t love a Maisy book?)

Eating The Alphabet:  Fruits and Vegetables From A To Z by Lois Ehlert:  (Even I learned some new fruit/veggie names from this title.)

Dinosaur Obsessed: Teaching Toddlers About Dinosaurs

V at Dinosaur Land…totally unfazed by the giant, looming, statues!

My little gal, V, loves dinosaurs.  It began during her potty training reading when she devoured all of Jane Yolen and Mark Teague’s “How Do Dinosaurs…” collection.  We had a stack of about seven of these titles that we had to read during every potty trip, until I got smart and snuck a few out of the room.

It continued as she memorized the entire story of Paul and Henrietta Stickland’s Dinosaur Roar.  We have video of her sitting on the potty reading this title in the same intonations as I do…”dinosaur clean and dinosaur SLIMY!”  We checked this one out from the library and ended up buying a copy for ourselves because it became such a favorite.

At a recent trip to the Smithsonian Natural History Museum, we got to see a dinosaur exhibit that somewhat befuddled V, as she had only seen dinosaurs wearing their skins in books, and did not quite know what to make of the collection of bones standing before her.  However, Bones, Bones, Dinosaur Bones by Byron Barton shows the entire process of excavating, transporting, assembling, and seeing the finished exhibit of dinosaur ones in a very toddler friendly story.

At the Natural History Museum, we purchased a copy of First Look at Dinosaurs by the Smithsonian Institution.  This simple book talks about different types of dinosaurs (ones that ate leaves, ones that fly, ones that hunted, ones with horns, ones with plates and clubs) in a very simple fashion with fun and non-threatening pictures. V loves to read this age appropriate title, and says that the mommy Stegosaurus with her eggs is a picture of me, “Dat’s you!”  (Obviously because we are both mommies…you know.  I love how toddlers think!)

Another great dinosaur title that can be read to both young and school aged children is Dinosaurs Roar, Butterflies Soar by Bob Barner.  With abstract pictures of dinos, the book tells the story of how dinosaurs and butterflies co-existed until the extinction of the dinosaurs (or as V says, “Dinosaurs are stinked.”  Each page includes additional facts for older children to read that can be left out when reading to toddlers.  There is a great timeline in the back of the book that shows the emergence of dinosaurs, butterflies, animals, and humans on Earth.

Just chillin’ and eating my apple with my bud, the BIG, SCARY, DINOSAUR!

Finally, with V’s playgroup, we were able to journey to a local kitschy destination, “Dinosaur Land.”  Dinosaur Land is a big old yard filled with life-sized replica statues of dinosaurs.  I was initially unsure whether V would be intimidated by the size and “scary” demeanor of the statues, but was soon put at ease as she raced around them with her friends, even climbing onto the hand of the giant King Kong replica that for some reason was a part of the outdoor exhibit.

Roaring back

She loved the experience of playing among the dinosaurs and recently embarked on an  imaginary adventure to Dinosaur Land in a pretend boat she made out of her step stool. V’s favorite dinosaur is the Elizabeth Bennett of the dinosaur world, “Tyrannosaurus Rex!”  We’ll be going back with Daddy to visit the dinosaurs soon!

Another activity I have heard of, but have yet to try, is digging for dinosaur bones.  There are play kits that include replica dinosaur bones and sand so that kids can dig and find the bones.  I imagine you could be creative and make something of the sort with popsicle sticks and sand or play figures.  Please feel free to share any dinosaur related activity ideas in the comments section below!

Child-Led Potty Training: V Style

We started the process of potty training with V when she was 16 months old.  At the time, she was saying “Butt” when she had to go potty, and trying to help mom and dad wipe.  She was putting her dolly on the potty.  We thought we’d capitalize on her interest and start potty training.

She took right to the potty chair, then progressed to using her travel potty seat at the American Museum of Art.  She did both #1 and #2’s the first week.  She had days with only one accident. So we were pretty thrilled parents of a potty enthusiastic child, thinking she would have this potty training down before she even turned two.  Little did we know the long potty training journey was only beginning for us…

We quickly learned that as a new potty milestone was mastered, V lost interest.  For months, she alternated between periods of successful potty use and periods where she showed a complete resistance to going on the potty.

We tried a few methods:  using a timer to help us remember to put her on the potty.  That ended up being a battle of wills and so that method was summarily abandoned.  Thinking that the use of disposable training pants (we replaced cloth diapers with training pants as an incentive when V first started using the potty) was perhaps stinting our progress by absorbing like a diaper, I put her in big girl undies that were repeatedly soiled.  I gave that effort up after a frustrating three days where she and I both felt like we were spending all our time cleaning up messes.

Ultimately, we decided on a child-led potty training course.  When V wanted to go potty, we put her on the potty.  When she wanted to use the big girl potty with her seat, that’s what we did.  When she wanted to use her training potty, she did.  We would ask and remind her gently, and sometimes put her on the potty when she was compliant but disinterested.  We had weeks of great interest, and weeks where we backed off training completely.  Since V started learning so young, and had not had any difficulty learning how to use the potty, I figured it was a matter of readiness.

Around March or April of this year, potty interest peaked for all of us.  We were tired of shelling out the money for expensive training pants and/or dealing with the leaks in her cloth diapers (we resumed using these sometimes so she would sense when she was wet).  She started sticking her hands down her backside after a BM, disgusted with what she found.  (SUCH a GROSS experience for both of us!)   And she wanted to wear big girl panties.  So here’s what we did:

We made a sticker page to hang in the bathroom.  She earned “stickers for pees, candies for poops.”  (A suggestion with the whole candy thing:  give only a few M&M’s or chocolate chips.  I made the mistake of letting her take a handful when she went and that led to some sugar fueled days.  Also, I don’t like the food coloring in M&Ms, so we switched to a homemade cookie, animal crackers, or chocolate chips based on what motivated her on that particular day.)  We told her that if she went for a whole day with only one or two accidents, she could wear big girl underwear.  After a period of weeks, and obsessive reading of Girls’ Potty Time, a potty training book she loves, we switched to underwear like the big girls in the book.  Another incentive was the “potty party” we promised to her when she would go all the time on the potty.

The week finally arrived when she wore underwear all week, having spots of accidents but making a concerted effort to go every time.  We set the timer as a reminder, but if she said she did not have to go, for the most part, I didn’t push it.  She did learn that when I reminded her to go, and she didn’t go, she might have an accident.    There were a few days when we seemed to have more accidents than either she or I would like.  When we both were feeling burned out of potty training, we sometimes made use of training pants so that we could get a break and relieve some of the pressure.  Typically, this was late morning, right around lunch, when we both were busy eating and getting ready for naptime.  After naptime, we would try using real underwear again.

We celebrated V’s potty party with her Grammy, Auntie K, Uncle J, and Cousin A during a well-timed visit.  We had a special cake, Star Wars napkins and plates, and a few gifts I had picked up from various dollar bins (Star Wars coloring books!).  She loved her potty party, though she slightly confused it with her birthday!

For travel, nap, and bedtimes, we used training pants initially.  Now, V mainly wears underwear when we go out, unless the trip will be longer than 45 minutes.  I have her go on the potty before we leave, and she has made a 50 minute trip wearing big girl underwear with no accidents.  The trick is to pack lots of back up clothes (keep some in the car).  I also put a folded up cloth diaper in the bottom of her car seat for easy clean up in case of accidents and keep others in the car to replace used ones.  Make sure you have plastic bags handy for wet clothes.  I now leave V in underwear during her naps, and we have noticed that she has made it through several nights with  dry training pants.

V is fully day-time potty trained now.  We have an occasional accident but more accident free days than not at this point.  We plan to gradually work on nighttime training as we observe her having more dry training pants and initiating visits to the potty throughout the night.

While we did not follow any one training routine or philosophy, here are some lessons I would share with those getting ready to start the process:

1.  Follow the lead of your child. Remind gently but back off when you find yourself pressuring rather than supporting.
2. Keep training positive.  Give lots of praise for effort.  Praise your child’s efforts to other people where they can “overhear” you. Use incentives where appropriate to provide encouragement but make sure they are something you feel comfortable with (if you don’t want your kid eating a ton of candy, don’t introduce it as an incentive…).  Remember that incentives only work if your child is ready.
3. Allow for training hiatuses.
4. If you feel yourself getting angry at your child for accidents, put them back in diapers and give both of you a break from training.  Spend time together connecting and try again when you are both in a better emotional space.
5. No one method works for all children.  Do what feels best for you and your child, but be open to ideas and integrate them into your potty training routines.
6. Remember that all children learn to use the potty eventually.  It will happen!
7. Always keep spare clothes and clean up materials handy!  Teach your child to wash their hands after every potty attempt.
8. Prepare yourself for periods of intense training where you spend a good portion of the time in the bathroom with your child and little else gets done.
9. Read to your child on the potty; this helps them relax, you get in some quality time, and they enjoy some wonderful stories.
10. Remember that use of incentives will fade as they get the hang of things.  V has lost interest in her stickers and sometimes forgets her candies.  If they don’t ask, don’t remind them, just let the potty routines become habit and the incentives evaporate.

Belated Blogoversary and Thank You

This blogoversary post was meant to be posted on May 8^th, the day I first posted at TheRippleEffect2009.  But you know, life, along with some health issues this week, got in the way a titch.  That’s ok, because belated is better late than never for a blogoversary!

Thank you from me to you for reading and sharing!

When I began blogging a year ago, I was unsure where the writing adventure would take me.  My husband, M, had recently begun his blog Glitnir76 and as he shared with me his beginning blogging efforts, I noted that with a blog I could do many of the things I had hoped to do with my Facebook page when I formed it in 2008. (No one ever accused me of being on the cutting edge of technology…). I hoped to find a place to share my writing, parenting thoughts and experiences, poetry, book reviews, crafts and children’s activities.  I hoped to build a readership from current friends and family members and also some new readers who wanted to share and connect over the post topics.  I was a new mom in a new town, looking for connection via social media and a home for all the new parenting experiences and feelings that I was sure other parents had also encountered or felt.

142 (now 143) posts later, with a Facebook page, a small but loyal group of readers, and a year of blogging completed, I am glad I stuck with it.  Blogging has given me a way to share my daughter with my out of town loved ones, to have conversations about parenting with old friends (even when we are playing endless games of phone tag around our children’s schedules we are able to connect and share via my blog), to meet some smart, creative, and interesting fellow bloggers, and to experience the support of an online community.

There are days and weeks when I question whether I want to sustain my blog.  I’m more connected in my real life community now, and have had some non-blog related writing projects compete with blogging for attention.  Previously, I’ve blogged about the challenges of balancing writing, and specifically blogging, which involves so many different facets than writing, with family.  For me, ultimately, the choices that make me feel happiest are the choices to be with the people in my life first with writing a second and blogging trailing along behind.  So though I know I could build a bigger following through Twitter and additional social media outlets, through following more and more blogs (I follow more than I can currently read), and by posting more frequently, I’ve settled into a space of ease with my blog.  Ultimately, it gives me a space to share what and when I choose and keeps my creative and intellectual energies in practice.  I enjoy the new people I’ve met along the way and look forward to future sharing.

I am excited to continue some efforts I have begun.  Reviewing children’s and adult literature and non-fiction titles, talking about green, less toxic parenting and housekeeping choices, sharing toddler friendly activities, as well as some occasional easy, healthy food posts are all part of the ways in which I hope to bring our home into yours via TheRippleEffect2009.  Current parenting issues and topics always make for interesting discussion, so I plan to keep a hand in when relevant and appealing topics arise. And always, I will be sharing about my daughter, V, and finding my way as a parent as I grow along with her.

I’d like to take this occasion to thank some of the special readers and bloggers who are currently fueling my creative energy and my spirit.  I hope you will take the time to check out some of these wonderful sites and writers!  Thanks to my husband for inspiring me with the format below!

First, I have to begin by thanking my husband, M, over at Glitnir76.  He writes and thinks about a myriad of interesting topics ranging from our daughter to politics, to social issues and the environment and always with a straightforward, logical, and intelligent perspective (and I’m not just saying so because I’m married to him!)  He has been my biggest supporter as a writer and mother and I don’t know what I’d do without him!  Love you!

Team Rasler:  Jessica at Team Rasler is my long lost intellectual twin.  We share many common interests and takes on various parenting experiences and I always look forward to reading her clear, thoughtful, educated posts.

Quasi Agitato:  Christine lives in a polar opposite world from my current rural hometown, but I find her poignant and honest posts about motherhood simply wonderful.  I also enjoy reading about her creative endeavors as an actress.

Canadian Mommy Time is a breath of fresh air; a gentle, positive, parenting focused site that inspires.

Dash of Domestic:  JamieAnne has been a loyal reader from the beginning and it brightens my day when she likes a post of mine.  Her recipes and domestic endeavors are always a fun and often a mouth watering read!

On the Go Momma:  Kate Fineske, who also writes a blog for the National Association of Mothers Centers always has a reflective and thoughtful parenting post to share and a fresh, honest perspective.  I find so many of her posts resonate with where I’m at.

Things I Can’t Say:  Shell supports a whole great community of bloggers through her continued efforts to connect them through her Pour Your Heart Out memes.  I have shared many a post on Wednesdays, and so appreciate the venue and support she gives to everyone she encounters online.  For such a committed and caring mom to invest so much time in other bloggers, well, it’s really something!

SuperHero Princess:  How thrilled was I to have Hillary Manaster from SuperHero Princess as a follower!  Her amazing efforts on her blog and through the Sanford Harmony Program are inspiring and I appreciate the balanced and thoughtful perspective she uses to address feminist issues.

Science of Mom:  I’ve recently started reading this amazing blog, which takes a scientific approach to discussing popular parenting issues.  With a background in Psychology, I appreciate the effort it takes to inform your opinion with research and facts and I applaud Alice for the objective way she investigates various parenting topics.  I also find that she is talking about many of the issues that I’m thinking about.

400 Days ’til 40:  I’ve recently found out that the author of this blog and I have many things in common in terms of our career and interest path.  And I find her posts to be inspiring and kind and positive.  I read every post she writes.  They are that good!

Let Life In Practices:  I enjoy reading Kristin’s posts as they focus on common sense well-being and promote positive mental health and relationships.  Her perspectives reflect many of the philosophies I subscribe to, and I appreciate her efforts to help others through her online presence.

MWF Seeking BFF is a favorite site of mine.  My interest in social psychology and specifically social support through friendships makes this site continually fascinating to me.  I can’t wait to read the next post!

Beauty that Moves is another site I have to mention; Heather’s words and images are so lovely it makes you want to curl up on your front porch and just breathe.  To create a sense of place and a feeling of being refreshed with a blog; that’s remarkable!

Thanks to IGameMom, Modern Rage,  A Detailed House, CatRambles, and all of the rest of the wonderful, supportive, and kind readers and fellow bloggers who humble me by reading my rude words.  I look forward to building more blogging friendships in the upcoming year and continue to be sustained by the positive, creative energy that these writers and readers bring to my life through the power of words.

And thanks to my family and friends who take time away from their busy days to read and comment on my posts.  Your love and support of me, wherever I am, and whatever I do…I am so grateful for it.  Words are just not enough!

Finally, thanks to my little gal, V, who inspires me, challenges me, giggles with me, and fills every moment of my life with meaning.  I hope you can look back on my writing someday, perhaps when you have your own little one, and find continued connection to me through my words.  They are my gift to you.  Love always from your Mommy.